11 FEB 2010

today went to car test
parking all tat pass easily :)
but...i fail my jalanraya...
i'm really sad...u guys mayb will not noe it
wat ur feeling if there is 6 ppl n u r the only person tat fail?
9am till afternoon 3.30pm like tat...
i cant believe tat i fail the jalanraya
i dint nervous during tat time,n i did all the thing tat uncle teach me,but i still fail :(
i drive back to the starting point n the JBJ with very DARK FACE told me:sry ya,kamu tak pass
so?my tear almost fall out at tat moment!i did my best n uncle usually told me i will pass if i do like this?than why i fail?
but,i take my tear back,i dint let it fall out...
my frens is still there waiting for their turn,i really dun wanna to affect them T__T
feel really down,but
mayb ppl tat take the test once n pass cant feel this i think >< i'm SAD,but i dun noe wat can i do ady a weird feeling is surrounding me,i cant explain this feeling well went home mum ask pass or fail n i get scold? i ady do all the thing tat uncle teach me,is tat not enough? i fail ady still need kena marah?! DANM!OKAY!u wanna scold,u juz scold! suddenly feel like i dun care anymore... u guys noe?i feel like i'm really going to commit suicide!!! tat feeling to do stupid thing is growing bigernbiger in my heart!! when having my bath in the evening,i dun noe is it my tear tat drop down or it is the water,i dun noe anymore,n i dun care bout the thing tat happen around me as well... although uncle told me tat it is not my fault,juz dun think too much n do again next time,but... i'm feeling really BAD,who will want to be leave behind?all my fren pass ady n i'm the only one tat fail... told daddy i wanna take holiday today,but i rmr yst got ppl order buffet at 9pm so i told daddy i start work today at 8pm... hear songs for very long, than dun noe wat time i fall assleep ady... wake up than go work,but tat weird feeling is still stick to me >< shoulder feel really tired,mayb yst not sleep well also no appetite for the whole day...i eat before i go for car test... than till 11pm ady still dun feel like i wanna eat,but gastrik got some weird acting,so hav some food at 11.30pm like tat,juz eat some then feel really full,no appetite at all ><''
cant sleep.....now the time is 2.12am,i juz cant sleep n my heart is getting chaos...
TEAR,i dun c u for so long,but i think u r close to me today...